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Cloverfield

Posted on Jan 22, 2008 at 6:23 am by DrBlood

I just watched it online and I absolutely hated it. It's just "The Blair Witch Project" but in New York with monsters.

Not only was it yet another kiddie-rated PG-13 unscary monster film but it sucked on all levels. The acting was pure Hollywood drama school stuff where everyone pauses and tries to convey as much emotion as possible with eyes and teeth before delivering a line, the dialogue was poor and as unrealistic as could be, and the camerawork was so bad that I imagine a lot of people would throw up in the movie theatres or suffer some kind of epileptic seizure from all the whirling and spinning.

It was 18 minutes of wedding party, 30 minutes of "Oh my god... oh my god... oh my god... oh my god... boom... bang... shriek... boom... oh my god... oh my god", and then the rest was all "Run... oh my god... shriek... boom.... rarrrr... boom... boom... shriek... bang... run... run... oh my god... rarrrrr... oh my god... oh my god.... oh my god... boom..."

I give it 1 out of 10 for the ability to con so many people into watching it. It's just another crappy motion sickness inducing shaky cam film with about 5 seconds of CGI monster in it. It's more overhyped and poorly executed rubbish!

I can see it being used for the "Oh my god" drinking game in future though. Alcoholics will love it!

*** SPOILER ***

After the end credits there's a message on a walkie-talkie which sounds like "Help us!". If it's recorded and played backwards (as some people have already done) it says, "It's still alive!" I hope that doesn't mean that there will be a sequel to this shitty thing.

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DrBlood

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