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Vampire Sisters (2004) |
Posted on 19 June, 2007 by
Princess Jolene
Vampire Sisters
Writer: Don Dohler
Director: Joe Ripple
Starring: Darla Albornoz, Syn DeVil, Jeannie Michelle Jameson, Leanna Chamish, Mark Lassise
Year: 2004
The question that plagued my mind, and probably everyone else’s, throughout the entirety of this film was: what the hell is in the shed? Amidst all of the sex, nudity and blood slurping, I was mostly interested in the mystery monster making noise in the backyard.
Vampire Sisters, directed by Joe Ripple and written by Don Dohler, has all the qualities I mentioned above…plus mystery! I was definitely interested enough to keep watching. The film starts out introducing the audience to three vampire sisters who run a site called VampSisters.com that they use as a way to lure fresh blood to their doorstep. Dawn (Darla Albornoz), Tasha (Syn DeVil), and Stacy (Jeannie Michelle Jameson) find exactly what they want for dinner through this sexy website. How modern can you get? So what are some of the highlights? Here are just a few: the sisters tear through older perverts (even putting a cleaver through one’s forehead) one of them kidnaps a teenage girl and gorges out on her, a victim’s brother gets his neck broken, and the vamps even attract a French lesbian (Isabelle Stephen). Where the hell was the girl kidnapped? Hmmm…I guess that’s irrelevant. The point is, the vamp wanted fresh blood and she got it. However, on the contrary, we are told prior to that event that vampires like to lure people sexually because blood tastes better while full of endorphins.
One of the most interesting parts of the movie, by far, was the whole plain-looking French lesbian part. Tasha forces the French girl dress up in skimpy shiny dominatrix outfit and then proceeds to makeout with her. Oh don’t worry--it gets a little more intense when she moves on orally. When the French chick opens her eyes from her orgasmic experience, she sees Tasha’s extremely elongated and strangely colored tongue inside of her. Then, somehow, she dies. I’m not sure if the tongue did something up inside her or…what happened. I’m not even sure I want to dwell on that very much. All I know is that’s some freaky deaky shit right there!
Now, these victims can’t just go missing without anyone looking for them. That’s when the two detectives step in. The male/female duo that have been monitoring the site for escort reasons decides to attempt to infiltrate the house after noticing that people are starting to disappear. The extremely prude female detective who looks like she’s stuck in the 1980s (Leanna Chamish) and the buff bald male detective (Mark Lassise) sign up on the site as an interested kinky couple and get called in by the crazy sexy vamps.
Although some may think the whole lesbian scene is the most exciting, or maybe even the shower scene, personally, I was appreciative when the male detective ended up shirtless with his muscles rippling. Yup. And the rest was a wonderful blur of him stabbing with a wooden stake over and over again and a vampire sizzling in the sun.
This little flick has a decent plot, a funny as hell reveal/ending, the acting isn’t half bad, and there’s an acceptable score behind a lot of the movie. If you like watching women get off on sucking blood and enjoy a little buff male body action every now and then, take a look. It’s worth it.
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